This was the photo that USMC Life posted on Facebook earlier less than 24 hours ago. I clicked on the comments expecting to read some positive feedback, maybe a few motivational OORAHs but instead couldn’t believe what I read. Negative, degrading comments towards military spouses. When did Marines and families show such hate towards their own? Military spouses are supportive, independent, caring, and flexible- a group that I am proud to be apart of.
Bashing our own only makes us look petty and weak. There is no reason to call someone a “motohoe” or “dependapotamous”. This was posted as a way to share some inspiration to our fellow spouses. Everyone, no matter what they do or who they are, has hard times. It’s our job as fellow spouses to show our support to those who need it; whether their husband is deployed or not. It could be their first time away from home, or the experiences of having a new baby, or maybe just being alone.
I have been in the situation of needed support multiple times. Right after we were married, we moved to Twentynine Palms to find out my husband would be deploying in a few short weeks. I remember him apologizing to me and telling me if I wanted to move home I could. He was worried for me but not about himself going to Afghanistan. I took a deep breath, shed a few tears but made the decision to make the most of my new lifestyle. I was going to be strong for him. After he left I met amazing spouses who showed me what being independent was. Some of these women were going on deployment number 5, had multiple kids, a job, and still managed to take time for us newer spouses.
It was not meant to say us spouses deserve this and that. I don’t think I am entitled to a thing and I am sure all of the spouses I know don’t either. I am honored to say my husband is a Marine. He has so much pride for what he does and I think I have just as much. Sure there are souses who that take advantage of the situation and wear their husband’s rank. But it is not our job to cast judgment on them. Instead, why not be role models for them? Show them the same respect that you have for the Marine Corps and our country.
My mom always told me, don’t take anything personal. So the comments made on the picture did not affect the way I see myself as a military spouse at all. I know “I’ve got this”!
A Note from USMC Life’s Founder, Kristine Schellhaas
I get why the whole “dependa” bandwagon exists because many think it’s funny to make fun of someone else who is trashier or less of a person than you. I choose not to live in that world because life is hard enough and I’d rather surround myself with positive people. Some of it can be humorous, but it’s always at someone else’s expense. There are good and bad in all walks of life. Some Marines are shitty Marines. Some Marines abuse their kids or spouses. But should we assume that all Marines are like that? Absolutely not, that would be a travesty. We are all proud of our Marines, why can’t we also have pride in their spouses?
The majority of Marine wives are bending over backwards to help their family, their neighbors, and quite possibly even you. They are volunteering to keep the unit running with the FRO (Family Readiness Officer), they are volunteering with Marine Corps Family Readiness, the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, and more. They have been bounced across this nation with no hope of finding work because the career that they worked so hard for has no longer offers opportunities. Think about all the cosmetologists, lawyers, nurses, and teachers who are out of work because the Marine Corps moved them and their license is no longer valid for practice in their new state. Are these ladies complaining? No. They are bucking up, volunteering and paving the way for others.
You want to call Marine Wives out? Why don’t we look at Karen Guenther, our 2013 Marine Corps Spouse of the Year, who could probably care less about this title that was bestowed upon her after being voted by peers, fellow spouses, and Marines on her behalf. She started the Semper Fi Fund which helps our wounded warriors. They have raised over $80+ million dollars to provide immediate financial assistance and lifetime support for injured and critically ill members of the U.S. Marine Corps and their families. Did you know that .96 cents on every dollar goes straight back into helping Marines? You want to talk about changing lives? Look her up and see one Marine wife whose “got this”.
If you’ve “liked” or used USMC Life, then guess what? You’re following a Marine wife. I started this website and Facebook page as a way to connect others to information that I felt the Corps wasn’t providing. I can honestly say that one of the most difficult parts of my USMC Life journey has been dealing with all the negativity. I don’t get paid to do this. I work more than 70 hours a week writing, researching, reading and posting to do my part as a Marine wife to help you out. So please, if you are reading this, think about what you write and what it says about you. We’re all part of the same team, let’s start acting like it. I’ve got your back, why can’t you have mine?