Home Marriage & Family Keep Calm: I’m a Marine Wife, I’ve Got This

Keep Calm: I’m a Marine Wife, I’ve Got This

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Keep Calm I'm a Marine Wife I've Got This posters slogan sayings encouragement uplifing posters quotes military spouse wife usmc Marine CorpsThis was the photo that USMC Life posted on Facebook earlier less than 24 hours ago. I clicked on the comments expecting to read some positive feedback, maybe a few motivational OORAHs but instead couldn’t believe what I read. Negative, degrading comments towards military spouses. When did Marines and families show such hate towards their own? Military spouses are supportive, independent, caring, and flexible- a group that I am proud to be apart of.

Bashing our own only makes us look petty and weak. There is no reason to call someone a “motohoe” or “dependapotamous”. This was posted as a way to share some inspiration to our fellow spouses. Everyone, no matter what they do or who they are, has hard times. It’s our job as fellow spouses to show our support to those who need it; whether their husband is deployed or not. It could be their first time away from home, or the experiences of having a new baby, or maybe just being alone.

I have been in the situation of needed support multiple times. Right after we were married, we moved to Twentynine Palms to find out my husband would be deploying in a few short weeks. I remember him apologizing to me and telling me if I wanted to move home I could. He was worried for me but not about himself going to Afghanistan. I took a deep breath, shed a few tears but made the decision to make the most of my new lifestyle. I was going to be strong for him. After he left I met amazing spouses who showed me what being independent was. Some of these women were going on deployment number 5, had multiple kids, a job, and still managed to take time for us newer spouses.

It was not meant to say us spouses deserve this and that. I don’t think I am entitled to a thing and I am sure all of the spouses I know don’t either. I am honored to say my husband is a Marine. He has so much pride for what he does and I think I have just as much. Sure there are souses who that take advantage of the situation and wear their husband’s rank. But it is not our job to cast judgment on them. Instead, why not be role models for them? Show them the same respect that you have for the Marine Corps and our country.

My mom always told me, don’t take anything personal. So the comments made on the picture did not affect the way I see myself as a military spouse at all. I know “I’ve got this”!

A Note from USMC Life’s Founder, Kristine Schellhaas

I get why the whole “dependa” bandwagon exists because many think it’s funny to make fun of someone else who is trashier or less of a person than you.  I choose not to live in that world because life is hard enough and I’d rather surround myself with positive people. Some of it can be humorous, but it’s always at someone else’s expense.  There are good and bad in all walks of life.  Some Marines are shitty Marines. Some Marines abuse their kids or spouses.  But should we assume that all Marines are like that?  Absolutely not, that would be a travesty.  We are all proud of our Marines, why can’t we also have pride in their spouses?

The majority of Marine wives are bending over backwards to help their family, their neighbors, and quite possibly even you.  They are volunteering to keep the unit running with the FRO (Family Readiness Officer), they are volunteering with Marine Corps Family Readiness, the Navy Marine Corps Relief Society, and more.  They have been bounced across this nation with no hope of finding work because the career that they worked so hard for has no longer offers opportunities.  Think about all the cosmetologists, lawyers, nurses, and teachers who are out of work because the Marine Corps moved them and their license is no longer valid for practice in their new state. Are these ladies complaining?  No. They are bucking up, volunteering and paving the way for others.

You want to call Marine Wives out?  Why don’t we look at Karen Guenther, our 2013 Marine Corps Spouse of the Year, who could probably care less about this title that was bestowed upon her after being voted by peers, fellow spouses, and Marines on her behalf.  She started the Semper Fi Fund which helps our wounded warriors.  They have raised over $80+ million dollars to provide immediate financial assistance and lifetime support for injured and critically ill members of the U.S. Marine Corps and their families. Did you know that .96 cents on every dollar goes straight back into helping Marines?  You want to talk about changing lives?  Look her up and see one Marine wife whose “got this”.

If you’ve “liked” or used USMC Life, then guess what? You’re following a Marine wife.  I started this website and Facebook page as a way to connect others to information that I felt the Corps wasn’t providing.  I can honestly say that one of the most difficult parts of my USMC Life journey has been dealing with all the negativity.  I don’t get paid to do this.  I work more than 70 hours a week writing, researching, reading and posting to do my part as a Marine wife to help you out. So please, if you are reading this, think about what you write and what it says about you.  We’re all part of the same team, let’s start acting like it.  I’ve got your back, why can’t you have mine?

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19 COMMENTS

  1. As spouses, as military spouses, as fellow human beings we should be kind towards each other. I shared and liked the photo. It has a beautiful connotation. I often tell my friends, as we pull our heads and hearts together to make a project happen, or inspire each other, “We Got This”. Help lift each other up. Find the positive.

    On a side, personal note, we are currently in our second round at 29 Palms. We love it here. Sure it’s the middle of the desert, with little to nothing around. However, these are some of the richest in spirit, in generosity, in kindness, people I have ever met. The desert will make or break you. If you put in a little effort this place, and any other place for that matter, is what you make of it. Explore. Discover. Meet. Be kind.

    • In 1967 when we got married I became a Marine Corp Wife. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. We were stationed in 29 Palms which at the time wasn’t much of a town. But, we were together. With Vietnam heating up there was the possibility of Rich being deployed at a moments notice. He kept wanting to send me home, but, we were in this together. If he left before he got leave we had it planned my sister in law whose husband worked for Ozark Airline at the time would fly to Los Angeles and we would drive back to St. Louis, Missouri together. Rich got leave and we came home. When he returned we wanted to go back to 29 Palms but instead we went to Camp LeJuene, North Carolina where we stayed until he was honorably discharged in 1970. Wouldn’t change being a Marine Corp Wife for anything. Semper Fi.

  2. When i saw this saying this morning i practically jumped with joy! I myself am a marine wife and i shared this photo with the caption of ooohhhrraahhhh!!!
    I agree with you, that there is absolutely no reason for people to judge or bash marine wives. It shows a lack of respect for all that us marine wives do. Everyone has their own story, yes. It still doesnt make it right for anyone, fellow marine wife, or just an everyday civilian to judge us.

    Im proud of my husband and proud to say that i am a marine wife 🙂

  3. Marine wives are the best! While we weren’t active duty for more than four years; we’ve been a Marine couple for nearly 60 years.

  4. I have a daughter-in-law who has been married to my son who chose the Marine Corp as a career over 20 years ago. My daughter-in-law has been alone when he was deployed when she was a young married woman and living across the country from her family and friends. She took that time to finish her college degree. When they moved again, she found a job she loves and no matter where they have been stationed she has managed to still connect with that job and extend it into something she loves. Now that they have two children, deployment is even harder and more challenging but she keeps the faith and the home fires burning and is raising two amazing children. She has supported my son who has not attained the rank of Colonel and when we say we are proud, we are proud of both of them! Semper Fi! I also have a son who has just joined the Army and he and his family are stationed half way across the county. Their challenges are just beginning but I have faith that they will meet each one with confidence and support from family and friends. Duty First!

  5. As the mother of a couple of Marines I must say that the wives have done an amazing job being “single mothers”. One has divorced but both have raised their kids with husbands thousands of miles away. Kept the cars running. Kept house. Supported their husbands careers. Left families of origins behind who normally would have been a help with child care etc. My hat goes off to you women. Our men couldn’t have done it without you. I love you all even if you don’t love each other.

  6. Yea I saw this on a site and have time to share. The truth is Marines know that there are awesome wives out there, it’s just easier to fault the whole for the bad ones just like the media and most Americans do. “ Marine throws puppy of cliff.” That’s not something all Marines are going to do but we got a black eye for it back then. Our humor is different then civilians, regardless of the fact their a spouse of a Marine they are civilians so they don’t understand our humor and in turn get offended. If they stayed off the satirical pages then they wouldn’t get offended, out of sight out of mind. They blame Marines for posting pictures, why we’re they readily available from their social pages? Furthermore if you ask nicely they take them off, NICELY being the key word the do. There are so many more reasons but as previously mentioned, it’s not all spouses just the (enter socially acceptable percentage here).

  7. AMEN!!!! All Military Families try to stick together. I found the venom being spewed in the earlier posts upsetting and disgusting… To the point that I had determined those to have been made by some Jackasses who weren’t Really connected to Military Life at all.

    Remember You Are Loved!!!
    A Marine Corps Mama

  8. This saddens me. I’m a soldier and the spouse of a Disabled Veteran. At the end of the day, we face the same high’s and low’s. At a time when we should be happy that more of our Military families will be together, some are busy sitting in judgement of situations they aren’t a part of and they sit in judgement of people they do not know. I’m fully aware that we won’t always get along. We won’t always like each other. That should be when you sit down and shut up. The ones who feel that judgement is theirs is dole out should keep in mind a few things – How would their spouse feel if they knew? & When did it become their opinion that mattered? After everything we have all been through over the years, we should be proud of all we’ve accomplished. We should be attempting to lift each other up instead of ripping each apart……

  9. I am a Marine, I joined 1 day after turning 17 in 1965. I got married and we had our 1st son in 1967. He was born when I was in Staging Battalion at Camp Pendelton. I later got out and ended up retiring from the Navy in 93. I married my Navy wife in July 88 and deployed in Dec on an unexpected cruise after moving her to a new town the end of November. The reason I give you this background is the truest statement there is about a military wife (especially Marine and Navy) is “It’s the toughest job there is in the Military.” SEMPER FI!

  10. As a grandmother with two grandsons currently serving in the Marines, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Were it not for your postings and a cream of the crop group of Marine moms, I would worry much more than I do now. I thank you for keeping us abreast of Marine military news and guiding us through many questions those of us who are new to the Marine Corps family have. Again God bless you and thank you and forget those naysayers; they are not worth the space they inherit. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

  11. We recently moved to Twentynine Palms with our 5 year old. I never pictured myself moving away from my home in NC; and if I did, I definitely wouldn’t have picked this place… I gave up my job to come here to be with and support my husband. It’s my first time away from my family as well. Last week we also found out we are expecting. Needless to say, i have experienced a lot of changes in the past couple months. I appreciate what you do. It’s nice to have support and motivation as a military spouse!

  12. The efforts of you and the many others who have gone above beyond are completely and wholeheartedly appreciated by those of us who have been slammed with deployment after deployment over the years. In my case it has been 11 times over the last 18 years with 7 being combat tours and my job definitely qualifies as an “outside the wire type” EOD. Our families are also incredibly grateful for your efforts.

    I firmly believe the problem is the sense of entitlement that has grown out of the junior ranks when their spouses are deployed or are just returned. It used to be great when our wives simply knew that we were okay and they just happy that we were home safely. That is no longer an acceptable standard. If the notification isn’t done properly, or the location isn’t prepared to everyone’s liking, or the correct amount of food isn’t available it provides the young “potomus” crowd with something to bitch about.

    I fully understand the rationale behind the civilian FRO and the increased focus on family readiness but the reality is that this initiative has only created more confusion during casualty notification and assistance and created more opportunities for disgruntled and/or immature spouses to bitch about things that, ordinarily, they wouldn’t even know about under the “old” ways.

    Bottom line, we always try to improve things for our people but I think we may have overdone things with the FRO, family readiness piece. We have generated a mentality of entitlement and you are witnessing this firsthand through the comments you received on your site.

    Again, thanks for what you do, as there are many Marine EOD Families who are incredibly grateful and appreciative.

    G

  13. Thank you, USMC Life, for responding to this situation. I was heartsick when I read the comments regarding this post. The venom stung so much I wanted to take my “Marine Corps Wife” keychain off my keys. It angers me that it has been implied that I should instead feel ashamed of being married to a Marine, rather than be proud. As wives, we understand that we are not in the military nor wear any rank. I feel that we do encounter & endure hardships that are not common to most civilian marriages. That does not make us better than anyone else & I don’t think this meme implied it, but I do think that it is ok to feel some pride in the independence & emotional strength that we learn through our experience and that we are capable, loyal partners to our spouses despite strenuous and lonely separations. Yes, we are caregivers & mothers and do the “normal” duty that every other mother is required to do but that does not stop us from pointing out when we have a great Mom. It saddens me that the stigma of the lazy, “dependapotomus”, “tag chasing” wife is still being perpetuated and that it is by enlisted men & women. All it takes is one “Dear John” story told by a jilted spouse to cast a shadow on all. It doesn’t matter if we are Marines, Sailors, Army or just a spouse, we are all still in the same family and should be supporting one another & building each other up, not tearing down. The difficulties we all face, regardless of their difference, are most endurable when you have your family at your back.

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