A Marine Wife’s Response to ‘Pentagon Proposes Controversial Policy Assigning Ranks To Military Spouses’

The article, Pentagon Proposes Controversial Policy Assigning Ranks To Military Spouses has caused quite an uproar within our military community. Duffelblog has even gone as far as depicted pink ranking systems complete with fork and knife insignia. It all started with an article describing a Marine Corps officer’s wife who didn’t receive a salute and reported the Marine to his command (of course ALL of these articles are fictional and meant for humor) but this has started a serious debate within the comments sections and forums of many military websites.

I think spouses wearing rank is a brilliant idea, but I think it needs to be issued like a Scarlet Letter. I just don’t think that the fork and knife really capture the essence of a military wife one may know. I imagine a board meeting with a bunch of guys sitting around, tossing out ideas like “what about a vacuum cleaner or a blender?” — and then ended up with more politically correct choice of a fork and knife.  I think the military rank should have a better portrayal of someone one might run into on a military base:

Now that we’ve cleared up a better insignia– ohhh, maybe it should be a sash!  Yes, a sash.  Uh-hem. “Wives, we are officially on notice that we are no longer able to harass any of our husband’s superiors, heckle the gate guards, or use your husband’s rank as an excuse to be rude to someone.”  This means no more calls harassing your Marine’s command because you think your Marine is training too long and hard – who would have thought that training = lives saved?

We all know a military wife who has a reputation is being a troublemaker, some might even say that is me (I’m more yoga pants and wine at this stage in my life) but sassing Marines and calling out my husband’s rank is a huge no-no for me.

But let’s say just for fun, if the case were made that a wife actually did come forward and complain about not receiving a salute, there should be a three part punishment for her ignorance:

1. Any offenders shall wear the Sash of Shame for 30 days for their first infraction as well as stand a full shift standing next to the gate guard through extreme heat, rain or cold without complaining and keep a smile on her face.
2. Offenders must memorize and recite the 11 Marine Corps General Orders and relay to a class of other misfits the lessons learned, specifically by #10 stating, To salute all officers and all colors and standards not cased.
3. Chalkboard punishment will be reinstated with the writing of one hundred sentences fitting the offense at hand.

I think I need to stand my ground here and say that I think all dependents should receive a special salute and it should go something like this…  It would make me laugh every time I drive through the gate.

*Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I know that 98.8% of military wives are comprised of strong, dependable men and women who have faced incredible hardships while their loved one deployed, leaving them behind as a single parent and are doing a fantastic job. We’re talking about your crazy friend. Unless no one ever talks about a crazy friend to you.  Then it’s you.